WTF

Zhaoxing Li
Have you seen the foreign minister of People’s Republic of China (PRC) Zhaoxing Li on TV?  He is quite a character…

 

摸女記者小臉 李肇星美名揚
兩會花絮 摸女記者小臉 李肇星美名揚

【聯合報／記者賴錦宏】 2007.03.09

 
中共外長李肇星日前出席人大開幕式，傳出撫摸女記者臉頰的「場外一章」。
三月五日上午，全國人大會議開幕當天，兩千多位代表陸續進入人民大會堂。李肇星從東門走進大會堂，在廣場上，有一名女記者衝過重重人牆，向他提問，聲音一直發抖。李肇星問：「怎麼聲音抖成這樣？」女記者說：「因為天氣很冷。」
當天北京氣溫只有攝氏零下三度，真的很冷。李肇星向女記者說：「來，我摸摸看。」就伸出雙手摸了女記者的臉頰。這個突如其來的舉動，引起現場記者一陣驚呼。
次日，隸屬中共官方人民日報的「京華時報」報導此事，標題是「李肇星幫記者揉凍僵的臉」，副題是「慈祥幽默的外交家風采折服記者」，大讚李肇星如何慈祥，不但親切回答提問，還幫女記者揉臉。報導說：「這一親切舉動引起記者們的讚嘆聲。」
不過，不少外國記者對李肇星此舉不以為然。有記者說，這在西方國家已是接近「性騷擾」的舉動，在大陸竟被視為是「慈祥」、「幽默」，令人不解。
 

This is not the first time he "shocked" people… good thing he is retiring soon… 

Out of 13 billion people, they picked this pervert to be the foreign minister!  Every time he speaks, I can only be “shocked and awed” speechlessly… simply unbelievable!!

 

And the communists claim PRC is now one of the world elite powers… what a joke!!  I look forward to more of these funny moments during the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Zhaoxing

Commentator

Wong
Posted a few silly quotes from English soccer commentators a while back… but couldn’t find the HK one on my hard drive. Luckily, my cousin forwarded this list of quotes from the Cantonese ESPN commentator (mostly soccer, but also NBA) Peter Wong/王興桂.

 

He definitely sucks big time but he also brings a lot of laughs… perhaps that’s what most HK people are looking for (somebody to laugh and curse at to relieve the pressure) when watching a late-night soccer match?

 

Anyhoo, enjoy!
——————————-
王興桂講波~超爆笑~珍藏語錄~有90句金句

1.各位觀眾，中秋節剛過，我給大家拜個晚年。（的確夠晚）
2.XX隊員就像桃園三結義的趙雲一樣勇猛，不愧為常勝將軍。（趙雲有結義咩?）
3.球被守門員的後腿擋了一下！（邊隻係後腿？）
4.隨著守門員的一聲哨響，比賽結束了。（守門員自備哨子?）
5.XXX 在前有追兵，後有堵截的情況下帶球衝入禁區。
6.XXX以迅雷不及掩耳盜鈴之勢 …（經典）
7.我統計了一下前八輪的進球和失球總數，離奇的發現一個巧合，那就是它們剛好一樣多。 (確係好離奇, 懸疑…)
8.雙方球迷入場熱身做準備活動，比賽馬上就要開始 (萬人群毆？)
9.這名隊員的身高達到了1.90厘米。（用顯微鏡先睇到比賽）
10.守門員將球回傳給門將。（……）
11.(NBA)「布來恩特一個365度的大轉身」
12.(NBA)「奧尼爾以他250公斤的身高扣籃得分」
13.(NBA)「今天斯托克頓6投9中」
14.喬丹又舔了舔自己的舌頭。（請你示範一下「舔自己的舌頭」係咩動作。）
15.因為南非既有白人也有黑人，所以在南非有很多球隊用著名俱樂部名字命名
（跟黑人和白人有何關係….?）
16.足球比賽就是這樣哦，每個人很強，但不一定整支隊伍就很強。10個1加在一起不一定大於 10。（…..?）
17.卡馬喬（西班牙主教練）跳了起來，雖然他的體重很大，但是由於極度興奮，足可以產生強大的勢能，把他的體重托起來！（呢個物理……的確強！）
18.2000年歐洲杯的時候西班牙在2球落後的情況下連扳2球，以3:2反敗為勝。 (條數點計…?)
19.禁區內一腳大力的頭鎚射門！ (咁即係用頭定用腳?)
20.勞爾(西班牙前鋒)不但左腳能進球，右腳也能進球，而且還常進頭球。所以我們說有些球星有三隻腳就是這個道理。
21.西班牙雖然十一次打進世界杯，但它的成績一直不很理想，最好成績是在50年的時候得過第四名，此後就連前三名也沒有打進過了。 (小明今年考過4次試，成績好差，除左第一次考第十之外，其他連第七都未考過)
22.里爾瓦多(李華度)傳球…里爾瓦多接球…里爾瓦多射門，球進了！（分身術）
23.卡洛斯30公里外一腳大力遠射…… （嗯, 夠晒遠）
24.日本前鋒爭到這個球已經很不容易，比利時後衛身高足足比他高了十米！
（比利時後衛竟然有三層樓高）
25.因為突尼斯位于北非，天氣非常炎熱，所以他們的隊員進攻速度都特別快。
（天氣熱反而會速度快……..?）
26.中國隊後衛杜威給了巴西隊德尼爾森一張黃牌（裁判冇你既事。佢地交換球員卡）
27.孫繼海係曼城真係越踢越好,更加可以融入球隊打法…
(3分鐘後)
最近孫繼海狀態表現麻麻,有好幾次曼城由贏波變和波,同埋和波變輸波,都係因為佢同施文配合得唔好,有誤會 …
28.(上半場頭5分鐘入球時…)o係今場波邊隊能夠入一“粒”先，果隊就會有優勢喇~~
(5分鐘又有入球, 追成平手後…)我都話啦, 咁早入一“粒”, 實會比人追平啦 (面上現出很有先見之明的樣子)
29.每隊波都要有個好既死球專家
30.所以話，現代既足球每隊波一定要有一個罰波專家
31.呢球波拉得咁行，唔係用腳背，係用腳既肉心呀
32.射波最緊要射中個龍門
33. 十二碼呢家野呢，有兩個可能性，一係入，一係唔入
34. 呢球波一係入，一係龍門救到，一係出界
35. 呢球波，如果冇龍門就入喇
36. 一個好既守門員可以令到場波由輸變和，由和變嬴
37. 哈哈，龍門最好既朋友係邊個呀？咪係龍門柱囉
38. 呢球波 keeper 有反應
39. xx龍門又再一次勇救險球
40. 幾時都話，後防好緊要，紐卡素就差係呢度〔利記對紐卡素重覆了大約十次〕
41. 防守球員犯左腦根上既錯誤
42  拿…做防守球員最緊要係咩呀？咪“安全第一囉”
43. 做前鋒最緊要有力
44. 識轉身既前鋒好值錢
45. 後生、有身材、有活力 (唔係講緊女丫)
46. 當打、有態、有身材 (都唔係講緊女丫)
47. 呢位球員打法好經濟
48. 呢隊波好有性格
49. 場波已經擺左落雪櫃
50. 拿，傑仔！呢 D 咪就係好波囉
51. 呢場比賽我只可以用“一個字”黎形容—精采
52. 呢班波今日打得好曳
53. 呢球好乖巧
54. 嘩睇呢場波就興奮過食興奮劑
55. 球迷們有福喇
56. 球迷們，足球就是這樣的
57. 好波不妨一睇再睇<—正
58. 本死無大害
59. 在傷口上加鹽
60. 有時呢 D 野真係時也命也喇
61. 陰溝 堣炰
62. 現代足球講求有實力，有速度
63. 現代足球最緊要攻守兼備
64. 西班牙球會奧沙辛拿(Osasuna)=「奧沙桑拿」
65. 新特“能”
66. D 利物浦球迷唱緊佢地既會歌，你永遠唔會一個人行路
67. 呢場波利物浦唔理嬴幾多球，總之一定要嬴
68. 呢球波係係咪真係紅軍既利物浦出界架？好似擦到藍軍球員既波襪架喎
69. 愛華頓呢隊波蔗渣o既價錢，但係踢出燒鵝o既味道
70. 巴路士，淨係識得一味去，冇諗過交俾身邊既隊友
71. 保方保方，保往後方…
72. 希斯基，力的表現!
73. “O”雲仔
74. 呢球波“O”雲仔好巧妙咁編(騙)過對手!
75. 呢球波碧咸傳得好靚架，不過前面羅唔到咋嘛
76. 呢場波可能係英倫三島兩個最佳左後衛既對決 — (阿仙奴vs列斯–艾殊利高爾vs夏迪)
77. 做唔成英雄，就做罪魁
78. 打波既野有時要睇「食送」食飯。
79. 單蹄馬
80. 球証巴巴先生
81. 藍色衫打得好過紅色衫
82. xx 球員，今日生日啦.
83. 呢 D 波仲唔生日
84. 睇佐敦，有今生，冇來世
85. Let’s go, rock and road
86. free…….dle (注: 要拉長尾音)
87.早兩日英超睇番d入球果陣…
佢話:"呢球波射得恰到好處, 唔太高, 唔太矮, 唔太勁又唔太遠, 終之就入啦" …
88.仲有上年利物浦對車仔:
球場上一係藍衫, 一係紅衫…
89.我聽過…
當一隊波進攻既時候,另一隊就需要去防守…XDDD
90.仲有一次講阿仙奴
佢話"12碼都唔入 ,30碼又點會入呀"

最正果句,姐係我最鐘意果句
近排加利仔狀態唔夠 Fit 呀！第一、佢跑得慢！第二、佢唔夠快！！、第三速度唔高！！！ ……~~"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Wong_%28sports_commentator%29

800, not 300

Seinfeld
My theory goes like this: from a Seinfeld episode, you can start a conversation with a complete stranger. And I proved that again tonight.
As I was turning people away (did the almost impossible: with 2 people occupying 8 seats on a just-released blockbuster, and right before March Break starts!), I asked the guy beside me (he was also on the same ratio, one guy saving 3 seats) whether he has seen that Seinfeld episode where Elaine tried to save seats for Jerry, George and Kramer.

He was fascinated when I told him theatres actually assign seats when you buy movie tickets in Hong Kong: “You mean like in Opera or Musical?  Now that you mention it, it makes perfect sense, why wouldn’t they do it here in Canada??”

 

The key to saving seats?  Wear 2 jackets and grab a few free movie magazines before going in.

 

Quotes from episode “The Movie”…

Elaine: Kramer, Jerry is going to be here any second, and then this line is going to start moving, and we’re going to end up in the front row.
Kramer: Well, just save me a seat.
This touches a raw nerve.
Elaine: No! I don’t want to save seats. Don’t put me through that! I once had the fleece just ripped out of my winter coat in a seat-saving incident!

—————————————————————

Elaine: Yeah. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.

—————————————————————

The line begins to move. George offers to wait outside for K+J.
George: You go in and save seats.
Elaine: [in a panic] Me!? But that’s three seats! I can’t save three seats! I told you about that guy who tore up my winter coat!

—————————————————————

Elaine: No, these are saved.
Man: All of them? C’mon, you can’t take *four* seats.
Elaine: What, is that a rule?
Elaine is accosted from all sides.
Elaine: No, I’m sorry, these are taken. …
Elaine: They’re in the lobby buying popcorn. …
Elaine: What are you doing? These are taken, these are taken!
Woman: Which one?
Elaine: These two and this one. …
Elaine: No! Don’t come over here! These are taken. Go! Go!
Elaine: These are taken! They’re taken! THEY’RE TAKEN!!!
She can’t take it any longer.
Elaine: Oh, take ’em.

—————————————————————

 

Oh, btw, the movie is “300”. It’s not bad for an action movie… many fight scenes with lots of spilled blood and chopped heads/body parts… definitely worth C$10. The plot is a bit thin and acting is quite over-the-top (some portions are borderline silly/fake but I guess it’s tolerable for an adaptation from comics). Anyhoo, at least it’s better than “Ghost Rider”.

 

The director attempts to strike a cord with the audience about honour, glory and courage… through the battle of 300 warriors versus countless enemies… but I think most people would be distracted by the recurring extreme violence i.e. many cross-sections of the neck shown (that reminds me of another recent movie about few against many: “Letters from Iwo Jima”).

 

“300” is comics loosely based on history. For a REAL inspiring heroic act, the Defence of Sihang Warehouse (四行倉庫保衛戰) where 800 Chinese soldiers held out against numerous waves of Imperial Japanese Army attacks for days, is much better movie material. If only those famous Chinese directors stop making craps like “Curse of the Golden Flower/滿城盡帶黃金甲”etc… please develop a plot before you waste my time and money.

 

Actually, the subject has been made into a movie back in 1975… my friend forwarded the YouTube links below. (Some people have so much free time to upload these videos, amazing, and thank you)
Young Brigitte Lin (林青霞) plays the Girl Scout Yang Hui-min.

 

Apparently, Girl Scout in China did much more than selling cookies!

 

Seinfeld, “The Movie”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Movie_(Seinfeld_episode)

300:
http://300themovie.warnerbros.com/

四行倉庫:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ0sCxGQco0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY6SucXWsCY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42PXsAWvbLQ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sihang_Warehouse

Exams

Find X

These are even better than the ones I posted a while back… I love the "Find X" one!

That kid is so smart!!!

 

BTW, after a heart-breaking loss to Man Utd on Saturday, Liverpool recovered and eliminated Barca from the Champions League!!!!!!!!!!  Still a long road ahead but perhaps we will win again this year… Carragher is simply amazing, possibly the best central defender in the world now.

 

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=412803&root=uefachampionsleague&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1&cc=5901

Yanzi

Axis of Evil
Well, it’s official now… in addition to Portugal (for beating England in the World Cup) and the Chinese Communist regime (for blocking universal suffrage in Hong Kong), I’ve added Egypt to my "Axis of Evil". I’m officially petitioning the Singapore Army and Navy to invade Egypt and teach them a lesson.

 

It was even on TVB news this morning… here is what happened: Allegedly, yanzi was threatened at gunpoint in the Egyptian capital of Cairo where she had been shooting a music video with a 22-member production crew.
It said a payment dispute turned ugly after the local tour guide kept demanding more and more money, and she initially complied with the thugs by providing her credit card (Isn’t technology amazing?  You can threaten people in the middle of an African desert and then get money through a portable credit card machine!).
Bodyguards were sent to their hotel after the group reported the incident to their headquarters and the Singapore embassy in Cairo. She is safe and on her way back but the whole ambitious and expensive MV production has been scrapped.

 

The great state of Singapore, even though with a diminishing regional influence, can still rescue its citizens across the globe. Thank god she doesn’t hold a passport from Republic of China (aka Taiwan, as President Shui-bian Chen insists), or HKSAR/BNO (good luck getting the Communists or the Brits to help out).

I’ve read and heard many bad stories about travelling in Egypt… evidently, they are a lot closer to being facts than myths.

 

I’m just glad to hear she is ok now. Despite the unfortunate incident, I know it will still be a great MV and an amazing album.

“逆光/Against the Light” will be released in late March. Mark your calendar, my friends!

 

http://hk.news.yahoo.com/070227/12/22nhb.html